From a post of 4 years ago today. Still think it's funny.
How to Cook a Turkey
Go buy a turkeyTake a drink of whisky (preferably Blanton's bourbon)Put turkey in the ovenTake another 2 drinks of whiskySet the degree at 375 ovensTake 3 more whiskys of drinkTurk the basteyWhisky another bottle of getPonder the meat thermometerGlass yourself a pour of whiskyBake the whisky for 4 hoursTake the oven out of the turkeyFloor the turkey up off of the pickTurk the carveyGet yourself another scottle of botchTet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkeyBless the dinner and pass out
How to Cook a Turkey
Go buy a turkeyTake a drink of whisky (preferably Blanton's bourbon)Put turkey in the ovenTake another 2 drinks of whiskySet the degree at 375 ovensTake 3 more whiskys of drinkTurk the basteyWhisky another bottle of getPonder the meat thermometerGlass yourself a pour of whiskyBake the whisky for 4 hoursTake the oven out of the turkeyFloor the turkey up off of the pickTurk the carveyGet yourself another scottle of botchTet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkeyBless the dinner and pass out